Heavy on mind this day has been of late. Sometimes it just merely shows up, beckoning a simple nod and other years, it sort of comes in like a sucker punch. This year, it is somewhere in the middle….
Recently, very recently, a friend has experienced what we experienced so many years ago. I understand most acutely that unexpected jolt that reminds us just how human we are, how fragile our bodies can be. One minute life is “fine”, the next you just want to curl up in a ball and make it all stop. It doesn’t stop though, never again does it stop. To lose those we love, especially those so young and with so much life ahead of them is never easy, there is never an answer and there is ever a loss.
Today, 35 years ago, our brother died in a car accident. For 35 years, this day has come and gone and each year it represents a slightly different shift in our family.
This year, I reached a milestone age, one which we do not need to discuss further 😉 but it does beckon a bit more so my mortality, everyone’s mortality and just mortality in general. We are mortal and often, we forget that. We live each day not ever sure what the next will bring and that my friends, is a good thing.
Though I have no answers and I have nothing profound to say to my friend that will make any of this easier, I can say that I understand. And I am sorry.
So today, July 19th is Daren’s day. He has two days each year that are his days. His birthday, October 25th (I believe he will be 58 this year, oh my…you Old Man Red Dog!) and his Mortal (I prefer that to death) day, which is of course, today.
He lives yet. He will live always, in our minds, our memories, in pictures and in our stories. He definitely still lives maybe not in the way WE would selfishly want him to live, but he does live. I like to believe that when people leave this earth, they walk beside us. Not in the creepy Sixth Sense way but in the City of Angels way. Did you ever see the City of Angels with Nicolas Cage and Meg Ryan, if not, you should. I love that movie.
So today is Daren’s day. This is his mortal day. We will all have one. The lesson in knowing that, and then understanding and experiencing it means something different to everyone.
Today big brother, we miss you. You live in our hearts and we definitely keep you alive in our minds. You have given us some great stories to share and share them we do! But always, you have taught us our greatest lesson and that is that life is uncertain, it can be short and more than all of that, live each day like it may be your last!
Randy, Carla, Lonny, Roxy, Dawn, Allyson, Chad and Amanda.
P.S. If you read my other post about Daren you will know that Amanda is his daughter….